"Hello so and so, who I don't know. I'm so thrilled to meet you!"

Have you ever seen the same person in the same building for eighth time and not remember who they are?  If you said yes, then you are not alone! 

     But, if we work a little bit harder to reach out to others and open up outside our friendship circles... there's a whole lot of opportunity for joy and fulfilling relationships, and I've got to just come out and say it! Now!

Quality Relationships Take Effort-

     Yes, I am single and 26.  This is by choice. Yet, there is this other part of me that feels so lonely and lost and empty even in big social events. I don't think it should be this way.

     I strongly feel that our happiness and joy in this life depends on the nature and quality of our relationships with others. If our whole day or whole week are filled with empty interactions of superficial talk with no real deep connections with people...meaning no time with people then we're truly missing out on that joy that's metaphorically speaking, on the edge of our tongues... sometimes only one word away.

There is a quote from my Facebook elite friend who stated something to the affect that,
"We were all once new friends before we became good friends."
And that's just how it is. In essence, we must reach out before we get to be friends.


     Being an LDS girl, I believe that there will be people I know in this life and the next life and that our nature and personalities and I relationships won't change but they'll be the same as they were on this earth.

     To me this means that the quality of my relationships now will be the quality of my relationships after with these people.

     So maybe next time we see that same person who we've passed for the 8th time will have the guts and the audacious nature to use our tongues and say, "Hello,_____! I'm so and so. What's your name?" (Because I'm so excited to meet you!) I'm saying this is more worth it than anything if you want to live a healthy and meaningful life, and everyone needs it than we understand seriously our happiness and life fulfillment and health hangs at the edge of our tongues- one word.

Also, here's the haunting part...

    If you never do it you may just miss out on the adventure of a lifetime with the most  appealing man or woman you've ever seen or that one bff, that could've helped you so love your biggest life problem...(loneliness) For me- that's too much to miss out on!

When you hit rock bottom... how do you know you've done it?

When you hit rock bottom... How do you know you've done it? 

   This whole post makes me think of my old friend, SpongeBob, lost at Bikini Bottom's pretty little city.

   I think that getting to that point when you have done something ghat not many others are brave nor willing to pay the price to do... that can be seen as a great accomplishment! Nobody ever really wants to or seems to desire going to the bottom, but I think there is  a lot of good that can come out of experiences like these. Not everyone gets to see what it looks like down there, metaphorically speaking, at the bottom of the ocean perhaps. It may be dark, but it's a special and rare site to see. 

   These past few months I feel like I've accomplished that ultimate task of going as far as I can go, and then stepping back and hearing from someone who gets to evaluate my performance that it just hasn't quite been enough. Apart of this includes the job searching I do... on and on and on. One job interview after another. Job one- seems like it would go somewhere... I do so well in the interview, I'm confident and professional. I answer all of the questions with specific responses about how I have developed and grown. Job two- seems promising and exciting. I get to interview and really it seems like a perfect fit. But really I wait two weeks and then more and then I remember. I didn't get that job, most likely. I should really be talking about these jobs as in job 50, job 74... because I can't quite honestly remember job one that I applied for here.

   Now, there has been intervals where I am accepted, and work for a while. Then it just doesn't feel right. It then, ends. Does this mean I'm at rock bottom?

   I'd like to share a quote by an unknown source. "Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy." 

This is something I certainly am successful at! And everyone should see choosing that path that you desire most as success, even if you're at rock bottom because of it! You've done it! You are following your heart and sometimes you get to see those places that not everyone gets to see. 

    But rock bottom includes Dating!

   Since I have been completely free of schedule conflicts in February 2016 to this point today, I have been applying for jobs almost every day. Here I am. with a serving job that I got from networking. Networking. I don't want to be a server with my college degree from a University I worked so dearly hard to get into. I have many a loan to pay.... and serving just won't pay for that. So there's part of my rock bottom. Another site to see at the bottom of my ocean here is dating...

   I have dated a few men now here... let's see how old am I... I'm 26. Among the men, there are those that know what they want and then when I tell them that I don't know if I want them... they shy off. Relationships are like a whole new world... ballgame and it's complex. It takes a whole new set of tools and mystical phenomenal powers to see success, weave through, and wind through without getting tangled or bruised, because it involves more than you! I honestly, don't know how any of those Disney Princesses ever made it! How did they manage to be spotted by those men who had dreamed of them- so quickly? I'd like to continue on those adventures of realistic dating life of the girl who is broke, and at the bottom. 

   There's 'Metalife', 'Islandsway', and 'LostAtSea' who catch my attention! I'm mainly attracted to 'LostAtSea'. He is kind, sweet, and void of future goals and plans. Seemingly knowingly he is going to whichever way the winds that touch his sails blow. This has made for difficult times. 'LostAtSea' is lost without me for now. But, so kind that I love him enough to keep him when he decides to take control of this steer. Metalife comes from a great big family, he had direction, so much that he probably doesn't even know what it is like to be lost. This is scary for me, because then I wonder, where is the adventure and fun? 'Islandsway' seems to be in a paradise and in order to get to him I must venture out miles and miles and then I still feel so disconnected despite the huge sacrifice and distance traveling out. I hope that he swims in closer to my sea shore, or I may feel so much disconnect that I don't belong. My main qualities are feeling a strong connection, excited to be going somewhere together(goals, and direction), and a whole lot of others things like openness to adventure, kind, and a good leader who I look up to.

   Let me know about your success stories finding love... or a job! I'm not sure about EVER obtaining these things... because they require other people accepting me and me accepting them... and so for now... I will just stay at the bottom, alone. It's like my own beautiful ocean where I can hopefully explore, and who knows maybe not seeing so much in these darkest waters will make for an adventure and growth of inner strength, I might even develop so much strength that one day, I might open my eyes and see in this dark! After all, we never would've known what Spongebob's bikini bottom would've looked like without him telling his story!

SO...Let's be excited for adventure that not everybody has, and tell the story they will never have had the privilege of knowing quite so well as us! -The Story of our own Rock Bottoms!