With great reason, I will Always be grateful for the work of my TEACHERS!

If any learn or obtain a formal education, I believe we shall always have at least ONE reason to be grateful for:  our teachers!

While at rock bottom, I've discovered that there are many things that dispel darkness and fears, and among them is my gratitude for my professors! 

     Teachers truly know that art of giving and sacrificing! While in school, as students we are often times living on our last dime, experiencing rejection from friends and people we want to be our friends. We don't know our futures and we struggle to figure HUGE LIFE DECISIONS out. Add to that, working part time (near 20 hours a week) and signing up for, taking serious courses, studying for those into the morning hours at times, and taking exams nearly weekly. It can cause one to question the meaning of life, and how their parents or professors at one point even made it out alive of these college years with families and careers. How do they do that? Aside from that remarkable fete, teachers really sacrifice, and some really care about us! I am going to make mention of the sweet sacrifices of my teachers (by name) for which I will always have reason to be grateful... always! :D My future is actually partly molded, and brightened by their words or wisdom and loving, devoted lessons!

The ability to live with gratitude strengthens me in times of weakness and heartache where I may be turned down on more than one job opportunity weekly. - I am so grateful for Mr. Groesbeck as my anatomy and obesity prevention professor, and Mark Bailey as my boss while working at the  Eastern Idaho radio station, KBYR, and  Mr. Johnson as my 105 chemistry professor!

Each has made a serious impact for good in innumerable lives I'm sure as they not only influence the students, but those with whom they choose to marry and their offspring, and those with whom they will work professionally. I am so much a better person because of their work, and my children, and my co-workers reap the benefits- no doubt! 

• Mr. Groesbeck was the kindest teacher I have ever had. When I could not afford the text, he let me use his own until I could save up enough money to buy my own. I love him as my mentor and leader. As my education continued, I felt supported by this man, and valued as a student because no question asked by a student was ever devalued by him, and he challenged us to grow and set personal fitness goals! I owe my best mile time to him actually where I beat my previous time by more than a minute.  Going from nearly 8:00 to 6:50 for my mile. I was able to develop appreciation for heart health, and really come to LOVE LEARNING about he heart and applying it to my life. Without a doubt, I use and value that knowledge daily! 

• I also was so lucky to have Bro. Johnson as my chemistry professor who studied at one of the top universities in the country and chose to teach at this University that I was at. He changed how I saw my potential and gave me new gratitude for truths found in chemistry! He made it fun, and applicable! I remember his studies he would mention measuring CO3 in the atmosphere during a period of time when a power plant had exploded over Europe, and how our impact on the environment leaves a mark for years to come.  I so deeply needed that, since I wanted to enjoy chemistry, and determine to continue a career in the health field. It was my 3rd time taking chemistry. Bro. Johnson showed he cared when he asked each of us how we learn best in a personal meeting at the beginning of the semester, and it was great because I felt cared for and I wanted to be there in class because of that! 

• My first boss, Mark Bailey, who had hired my mom for her first professional job in communications, gave me an opportunity to work, and believed in my potential and it changed my confidence in myself and my life! He is probably one of the most influential men in my life! I remember being trusted to do stories that, to me, at that time, were a big deal! I was entrusted to interview groups of people from different Universities and groups that were involved in a great cause, and formulate a story based off of the questions I asked them, and the sound bites I got. It was HUGE! BUT, because I was given that opportunity, I was able to use my skills and publish great stories. I will be forever grateful for him!

 I have since been a graduated and broke student for a few months now. I wonder sometimes if all of my toils, trials, and success while being a student...are worth it, with no job. But, I know that the work and influence they had on me and in my life, has made it all a reason to be grateful for each life lesson and scholastic lesson that I was taught and I get to keep forever that knowledge.
 "Two teach is to touch lives forever." - Anonymous

On being Spiritual...

        What's your favorite thing about scriptures?

   I think one of my favorite things is looking back at all of my seminary post-it notes that I glued in the binding of my scriptures, and the scripture mastery memorization songs. Here is one glue-in that I'm happy to share with you!

"No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is! After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of the wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means- the only complete realist..."

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, p. 124-125

"Hello so and so, who I don't know. I'm so thrilled to meet you!"

Have you ever seen the same person in the same building for eighth time and not remember who they are?  If you said yes, then you are not alone! 

     But, if we work a little bit harder to reach out to others and open up outside our friendship circles... there's a whole lot of opportunity for joy and fulfilling relationships, and I've got to just come out and say it! Now!

Quality Relationships Take Effort-

     Yes, I am single and 26.  This is by choice. Yet, there is this other part of me that feels so lonely and lost and empty even in big social events. I don't think it should be this way.

     I strongly feel that our happiness and joy in this life depends on the nature and quality of our relationships with others. If our whole day or whole week are filled with empty interactions of superficial talk with no real deep connections with people...meaning no time with people then we're truly missing out on that joy that's metaphorically speaking, on the edge of our tongues... sometimes only one word away.

There is a quote from my Facebook elite friend who stated something to the affect that,
"We were all once new friends before we became good friends."
And that's just how it is. In essence, we must reach out before we get to be friends.


     Being an LDS girl, I believe that there will be people I know in this life and the next life and that our nature and personalities and I relationships won't change but they'll be the same as they were on this earth.

     To me this means that the quality of my relationships now will be the quality of my relationships after with these people.

     So maybe next time we see that same person who we've passed for the 8th time will have the guts and the audacious nature to use our tongues and say, "Hello,_____! I'm so and so. What's your name?" (Because I'm so excited to meet you!) I'm saying this is more worth it than anything if you want to live a healthy and meaningful life, and everyone needs it than we understand seriously our happiness and life fulfillment and health hangs at the edge of our tongues- one word.

Also, here's the haunting part...

    If you never do it you may just miss out on the adventure of a lifetime with the most  appealing man or woman you've ever seen or that one bff, that could've helped you so love your biggest life problem...(loneliness) For me- that's too much to miss out on!

When you hit rock bottom... how do you know you've done it?

When you hit rock bottom... How do you know you've done it? 

   This whole post makes me think of my old friend, SpongeBob, lost at Bikini Bottom's pretty little city.

   I think that getting to that point when you have done something ghat not many others are brave nor willing to pay the price to do... that can be seen as a great accomplishment! Nobody ever really wants to or seems to desire going to the bottom, but I think there is  a lot of good that can come out of experiences like these. Not everyone gets to see what it looks like down there, metaphorically speaking, at the bottom of the ocean perhaps. It may be dark, but it's a special and rare site to see. 

   These past few months I feel like I've accomplished that ultimate task of going as far as I can go, and then stepping back and hearing from someone who gets to evaluate my performance that it just hasn't quite been enough. Apart of this includes the job searching I do... on and on and on. One job interview after another. Job one- seems like it would go somewhere... I do so well in the interview, I'm confident and professional. I answer all of the questions with specific responses about how I have developed and grown. Job two- seems promising and exciting. I get to interview and really it seems like a perfect fit. But really I wait two weeks and then more and then I remember. I didn't get that job, most likely. I should really be talking about these jobs as in job 50, job 74... because I can't quite honestly remember job one that I applied for here.

   Now, there has been intervals where I am accepted, and work for a while. Then it just doesn't feel right. It then, ends. Does this mean I'm at rock bottom?

   I'd like to share a quote by an unknown source. "Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy." 

This is something I certainly am successful at! And everyone should see choosing that path that you desire most as success, even if you're at rock bottom because of it! You've done it! You are following your heart and sometimes you get to see those places that not everyone gets to see. 

    But rock bottom includes Dating!

   Since I have been completely free of schedule conflicts in February 2016 to this point today, I have been applying for jobs almost every day. Here I am. with a serving job that I got from networking. Networking. I don't want to be a server with my college degree from a University I worked so dearly hard to get into. I have many a loan to pay.... and serving just won't pay for that. So there's part of my rock bottom. Another site to see at the bottom of my ocean here is dating...

   I have dated a few men now here... let's see how old am I... I'm 26. Among the men, there are those that know what they want and then when I tell them that I don't know if I want them... they shy off. Relationships are like a whole new world... ballgame and it's complex. It takes a whole new set of tools and mystical phenomenal powers to see success, weave through, and wind through without getting tangled or bruised, because it involves more than you! I honestly, don't know how any of those Disney Princesses ever made it! How did they manage to be spotted by those men who had dreamed of them- so quickly? I'd like to continue on those adventures of realistic dating life of the girl who is broke, and at the bottom. 

   There's 'Metalife', 'Islandsway', and 'LostAtSea' who catch my attention! I'm mainly attracted to 'LostAtSea'. He is kind, sweet, and void of future goals and plans. Seemingly knowingly he is going to whichever way the winds that touch his sails blow. This has made for difficult times. 'LostAtSea' is lost without me for now. But, so kind that I love him enough to keep him when he decides to take control of this steer. Metalife comes from a great big family, he had direction, so much that he probably doesn't even know what it is like to be lost. This is scary for me, because then I wonder, where is the adventure and fun? 'Islandsway' seems to be in a paradise and in order to get to him I must venture out miles and miles and then I still feel so disconnected despite the huge sacrifice and distance traveling out. I hope that he swims in closer to my sea shore, or I may feel so much disconnect that I don't belong. My main qualities are feeling a strong connection, excited to be going somewhere together(goals, and direction), and a whole lot of others things like openness to adventure, kind, and a good leader who I look up to.

   Let me know about your success stories finding love... or a job! I'm not sure about EVER obtaining these things... because they require other people accepting me and me accepting them... and so for now... I will just stay at the bottom, alone. It's like my own beautiful ocean where I can hopefully explore, and who knows maybe not seeing so much in these darkest waters will make for an adventure and growth of inner strength, I might even develop so much strength that one day, I might open my eyes and see in this dark! After all, we never would've known what Spongebob's bikini bottom would've looked like without him telling his story!

SO...Let's be excited for adventure that not everybody has, and tell the story they will never have had the privilege of knowing quite so well as us! -The Story of our own Rock Bottoms!